I don't intend this column to grow overly personal but occasionally elements of my life intrude given their impression on my outlook. This week marks a significant anniversary in my life: the diagnosis of my testicular seminoma, by delay of diagnosis (my bad) already metastasized into my lymph system. Ten years ago I was given six months to live. Rarely a day goes by I don't think about that. Fortunately surgery, radiation, and a natural anti-cancer lifestyle render me today worrying more about crazy drivers and less about any potential relapse.

Composite beings we are, and it's profoundly disturbing when some of those components go into unexpected genetic revolt. It's not a pleasant thing to have a favorite piece plucked out of you, particularly as the back of your mind echoes McCoy's anguished "cut and sew people like garments." We know so much yet so little about our fragile structure. Alas I met no kind-faced doctor to slip me a miracle pill!

Along the road have arisen... issues... dealing with my therapeutic choices, a matter I concluded (well beforehand) belongs to myself and dedicated medical professionals only. Others spurred by fear somehow saw fit to interfere (since not to listen and actually learn) but I have never feared science, a hallmark of trekkers if not a requisite for sanity. That's true even if at time science doesn't quite produce the wanted results (like today, after Genesis failed to deploy its parachute and clobbered the earth with its precious cargo).

However my understanding is that only a generation ago more likely than not my diagnosis would have meant a death sentence for the technology at the time. "We learn at least as much from death and we do from life." From the time I heard that it sounded unnecessarily cynical, reflecting an obviously disillusioned admiral. Maybe Kirk cheats himself by thinking he can cheat death when things get dark- make what you will of the plot of TSFS- but in that darkness I found no other attitude preferable. One cheats.

Not that I ever wasn't a willing pupil, but this last decade has been filled with the lessons learned from keeping useless stress out of one's lifestyle. (1) Don't sweat the small stuff, and (2) it's all small stuff. There remain bumps to come, that's just part of life. I'm still careful to recognize every breath as a gift. And for a long time I hope to continue sampling the human celebration. Ten years later the stars burn quite as bright.