A fearsome Bird of Prey tractors a shuttle containing two "humans." These fight free and jettison the crew, inciting the Klingons to war. In a scribbled paper-lined prison cell, Archer visits Dr. Soong to connect the crew massacre to Soong's handiwork, the Augments, genetically enhanced Eugenics War embryos stolen from a Federation freezer. Soong understands them so Archer escorts him to the Borderland between Orion and Klingon space. A simpering Trip asks T'Pol how her honeymoon went (what, with no moon?), and installs a Kirkian command chair with The Button You Don't Push. Before departing Archer rewards T'Pol's promotion with a compass when she really needs a uniform.

Soong examines recovered DNA in Sickbay. He considers the Augments his children, and snarks back and forth in excellent interplay with Phlox. Two Orion interceptors shoot the Enterprise out of warp and beam-kidnap T'Pol and eight others. (Fire Malcolm; I know this trick has been done before.) Archer uses Soong's ID code to enter Orion space. All forehead and bad clothing (they're twice as smart but can't figure out a sewing kit?), the Augments fight among themselves and "Malik the rebellious" betrays his brother at bladepoint for "betraying Father's principles." (Just like why Khan's people failed before, turning on each other. Nice touch.)

At the Orion Slave Market T'Pol receives a neck-pincher and advice from the green giant auctioneer. She fetches an exceptional price and he picks her up and shakes her in a laugh out loud moment. Archer and Soong arrive just as an Orion Slave Girl with extreme appetites and innate skills is sold (a scene straight off Roddenberry's pen!). They buy Ensign Panicky Pierce to reverse engineer the neck-pinchers and return to free the slaves. T'Pol kicks the auctioneer into submission as Soong shocks Archer with a slave-prod, but Archer uses his magnetic manacles against him then tosses him into the brig.

The interceptors target the nacelles but the BOP appears and repels the attack. Archer allows them to dock because he is unbelievably stupid. The Augments are actually well mannered, except for quoting Nietzsche, and only counter-attack after Archer insists on returning them to Earth. They bust Soong out of the brig and leave to retrieve thousands more waiting to be born. OK, so the story has problems, like how Soong got to the Borderland with no Warp 5 ship, or how the Augments got their shuttle. Even though "Space Seed" meets "Silence of the Lambs" is entirely derivative (yet not disrespectfully so), I found it highly entertaining.